My husband treats me as his dirty little secret

My husband treats me as his dirty little secret – and won’t have sex at home

He prefers to get intimate in anonymous spaces and initiates sex every time we’re at someone else’s house. I love the excitement, but feel manipulatedMy husband and I never have sex at home, only at our friends’ places or in hotel rooms. We’ve lived together, improbably, for four years now. When we

He prefers to get intimate in anonymous spaces and initiates sex every time we’re at someone else’s house. I love the excitement, but feel manipulated

My husband and I never have sex at home, only at our friends’ places or in hotel rooms. We’ve lived together, improbably, for four years now. When we hooked up six years ago I never expected anything serious, just a one-night stand with a hot flight attendant.

After 15 casual sexual encounters we had a screaming row about my sleeping with someone else, and after the 16th, we decided to be in an exclusive relationship. After 40 meet-ups, he brought home an exotic strain of gonorrhoea; when we had got over the shock, and finished a course of antibiotics, we started planning the wedding.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to [email protected] (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.